Pro Age

The world has gone mad. Having seen anti-age this and anti-age that I got a newsletter today from Sainsbury’s promoting Shampoo that was ‘Pro-Age’. How the hell does that work? Is it a new product for teenagers who desperately want to get served in the pub?

The even more fucked up answer is that ‘Pro Age’ is another term for ‘Anti-Age’ just like ‘terminal brain tumour’ is similar to ‘healthier than God himself’ (?). I’m now worried about where this is going to lead. Will I be running 5k this summer because I’m ‘Pro-Cancer’? Will there be ‘Pro-Knife Carrying’ demonstrations in the cities? Will someone actually be ‘Pro Giving a Shit About Kerry Katona’?

You know who I blame? The Government. I reckon they’re doing this on purpose as they set a secret target last year to make everyone ‘Pro War’ by 2010. Hmmm…

Oh and where does that leave the word ‘anti’? Will that get reversed too? Can you imagine the scenes of thousands of confused people sitting on Extra-chilled rubber-rings because they bought Sainsbury’s new ‘Anti-Haemorrhoid’ cream?


2 responses to “Pro-Marketing

  1. I posted a shampoo related item on my blog this morning and then stumbled on this post of yours, whilst looking for writing related blogs (I like yours btw). Given the coincidence, I felt moved to comment:

    I think we’re more likely to find someone who is ‘Anti pro’, rather than ‘Pro giving a shit about Kerry Katona’. Or should that be ‘Pro anti pro’?

  2. I think those shampoo people have got water on the brain.

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