RIP Blake Snyder

Two posts in two days, I’m spoiling you. No seriously, I am. If you haven’t read the latest breaking news a.k.a Phill Barron’s blog. Then you won’t know that screenwriting teacher Blake Snyder passed away from Cardiac Arrest on August 4th. Phill pays a better tribute to him than I can and I echo (or link to) his comments on the man’s work.

It all brings me to a common topic that seems endless and unresolved. Can you learn how to write? My answer is: yes. If you’ve never watched a film or read a script you won’t be able to write a decent one at first attempt. We’re humans, we learn 99% of everything we can do.

Can you guarantee a decent script through learning? No. Not if you had all the lessons in the world from the best teachers, writers that ever existed.

So there we go, solved. Thanks for reading bye…

Oh ok… I’ll digress more. John Cleese says he wasn’t schooled in comedy when he started but spent all of his childhood watching comedy, he even said that he didn’t realise it at the time but it was his training. Now, lots of people watched comedy growing up but what Cleese did was unconsciously pick up how it works and later on produce some of the best stuff ever seen on YouTube. So he was self-taught, but also naturally analytical, creative and had a sense of humour that was shared with millions. He had other qualities too, ones that you can’t really learn and some that you have to be blessed with.

I know some smart, high-flying  people who’s sense of humour and tastes are comically bad. Yet they think there is genuinely nothing wrong with them. And there isn’t. We all have different tastes but some just won’t cut it on screen – I mean really bad taste here.

Its a very general post here, I’m deliberately being so as its a long argument, but my view is that you need to learn (by what ever means: life/books/tv/courses) how to write YOUR way. What ever works for YOU. You might already know how to create characters. Why learn how McKee does it, if you already have a method? But the books and lessons are good if you need guidance in an area you’re not so hot on. You can take bits from this book, bits from that lesson, a little seasoning from that post – whatever works. You might not need any of this, you might have already picked it up from watching shit loads of tv and from life itself.

Snyder gave me a great starting point in outlining a feature film. The beats I should aim for to get me started. It helped me get stuff on the page and then I went in and changed it using ideas of my own. No one book has taught me how to write but a few have helped me get my stuff broadcast and seen. Snyder’s Save The Cat was one of them and I’m grateful.

RIP Blake Snyder.

Who The F*** Are You?

It seems like an age since I last posted and that’s probably because it is, as I have been in those United States of that America for almost two weeks. All holiday, no work or writing. Very nice thanks, nice weather, nice food, nice Jet-lag. Blah. So I thought I’d warm my way back into your hearts with a rant.

Whilst sitting in the Rockefeller Tower sipping Champagne cocktails I was mildly furious, absolutely mildly furious, to see more of these ‘writing opportunities’ that tell you vaguely what they want (but not always) but nothing, NOTHING, about themselves. I nearly choked on my medium-rare Sirloin with the rage I was most definitely not in.

The ad usually goes something like this:

CASE STUDY A

Hi. We’re interested in new writers for our projects, please send us some samples of your work to: wearesoprofessionalthatwedonthaveacompanyemailaddress@gmail.com

The reply they are obviously expecting to this is:

Dear fucking amazing people, thank you for gracing my world with your fuck-me-this-tastes-like-smack offer. I’ve been waiting for an offer like this since I started writing with my own shit. I don’t care who you are as I’m so desperate for exposure that I practise flashing in Toys R Us. Attached is my best writing samples along with a video of me wanking to your advert.

OR…

CASE STUDY B

Hi. I’ve been trying to write for a while but struggle with creating characters, plot and stories. So I’m looking for a writer to collaborate with. Please send me some samples of your work so I can see if we match.

Again the reply they are expecting is:

Oh my God! Sorry for replying so late but I’ve just come back from A&E because, upon reading your ad, I suddenly blew enough spunk to propel a fucking rocket ship into space. You say you don’t have any of the basic writing skills to actually write? Well that’s ok. I’ve got shitloads of time to waste and I totally believe you must have some hidden fucking genius inside you and I’d be anal-rimmingly honoured to do all the work for you so long as I can sniff your balls on a fortnightly basis. I’ve attached my best work, I hope it matches  enough for you to cock-slap your name all over it. I’ve also attached a video of me wanking to Cheaper By The Dozen so you can blackmail me too.

So I guess my point is: think about the writer, you know, the person you are trying to ‘attract’. WHY should they reply to you? WHAT’S in it for them? If you don’t put any of these things in your ad then any decent writer won’t look at you again. Instead you’ll get the desperate ‘writers’ that reply with the above (they have never worked for me – yet).

And the WHY and the WHAT doesn’t have to be the promise of bag loads of money (although that is one way) it can just be the courtesy of telling us about your projects, vision, resources, portfolio. Think not what we can do for you, but what you can do for us, too. That’s what we are looking for… that and a cure for inapproriate sexual references.

Writing Pitfalls Advice

Great advice from Tony Jordan (if you’re thinking ‘who?’ – get out!) via Jason Arnopp.

Don’t get sucked in by the idea of craft, and the industry which poses as gatekeeper to some Great Big Secret Of Successful Writing. Tony’s never pretended to be Robert McKee’s greatest advocate. He illustrated just how simple storytelling is, by putting two tea cups a fair distance apart on the table, representing Your Character and Their Dramatic Goal. He then put a few random objects between them – including a cafetiere and a sugar bowl, fact fans – representing Obstacles. He picked up the first Obstacle and allowed, “You can call this the Inciting Incident, if it makes you feel happy and all warm inside!”. Whatever works. But in a nutshell, that line-up of objects encapsulated Storytelling: The Tony Jordan Method. Wouldn’t make much of a book, or even fill out a pamphlet, but it’s all you need.

http://jasonarnopp.blogspot.com/2009/05/tony-jordans-red-planet-workshop.html